My Hero Romance: Chapter Twelve
{| Chapter Twelve Katsuko could hand in her resignation now if she really wanted to. She could just drop everything and disappear off the face of the earth if that would only give her the chance to redo yesterday. If it could take away her shame, she would be on it in a second. But nothing did, she was stuck with the feeling of being a complete fool. She was back to work a few days later, but was forced to remain in the lounge, being paid to do nothing. And that's what she did, nothing. She didn't do much except for stare at her notebook. She hadn't used it in a while, but this was all she had now. I really made a mess of everything yesterday. I'm a real shit storm of one failure after the next. If horoscopes mattered, they would say that my parents should not get together because their signs will create a mistake. I ruined it with him. I had a chance there, I really did. But my stupid self had to go and say that. God, I'm such a moron! I'm the exact person he finds annoying. I'm fully reliant on him and now I dug my grave and can't get out. How can you come back from that? How can you show someone you are a person who can function on your own when you've been controlled by someone your entire life? You can't. I want to go back to being in a coma, at least then I was safe from pain like this. Katsuko looked up from her journal, teary eyed and clearly in pain. She couldn't go to Toshinori, she already ruined everything with him. There was nothing more that she could do unless she wanted to hand in her resignation at the end of the day. And that was looking more appealing by the second. She decided, after an hour of thinking, that she had no other chance. She tore out a piece of paper from her notebook. She wiped her eyes, struggling to put down her thoughts. It took her awhile before she could. She planned on leaving it here with his name on it so it'd give her time to leave. Dear Toshinori Yagi, You're right. I should be able to work and function on my own without relying on you or anyone else, but to be honest, I don't know how to. My entire life, I had someone whispering in my ear, telling me what to do with myself. Now that he wants me dead, I have no one whispering in my ear, I have no one but the cruel thoughts that accompany me now. I have my father to thank for that evil gift. Those thoughts tell me I should give up and wither away, but I don't want to. I want to live and be remembered, but I don't know how. I can't do it alone either. That's why I write this. As much as I enjoyed the times we talked, I think it's time for me to go. I have no place in a world of heroes when I am but a servant awaiting instruction. I don't know where I'll go after this, but I do know that I won't be going home. If I can't think for myself, I can either become bait for the villains or become a villain. I'd hate to have to force one of the students to take me down so I won't. I may not be able to figure myself out. I may be confused now, confused and empty inside, but I know my feelings are true. I know that I really really like you and it's not that I rely on you. It's that I want to be there besides you so I can always feel safe. I wanted to be around someone who I knew could fight for me even when I was a bloody mess, weakened by my false sense of hope. I needed to be by you, as All Might or as Toshinori, so I could feel what everyone else feels when they see you. Relief, adoration, excitement. I couldn't help but fall in love with every aspect of you. Your kindness, your determination, your humility, your everything. Then when you showed me who you truly were, I fell for you even more. You showed me a side of you that you aren't as confidant in and I salute that. I respect it. It seemed like I was relying on you, wasn't it? In a way I was, but I was relying on you to help me adjust, to help me feel safe and welcome. During my coma, I saw how everything could've gone wrong. I saw the pain and the death that could've happened had I given up for the sake of running and feeling safe. Then I saw all the good. All the good I had done in protecting a bunch of students. Sure, it hurt like Hell, but I did it and I felt like you, or a fraction of what you feel when you save people. I know I didn't do a lot, and I passed out quickly afterwards, but for a moment, I felt like I was finally my own person. I failed you, and for that, I'm sorry. I hope I can redeem myself. I'll take him down, but I won't kill him. Just you wait and see. I'll be a real hero. ''- Katsuko Sato''